Too Smart for Me!!

So, I posted the above ticker to keep me on par with my blogging. You see, I tend to be a bit of a slacker.

I know it says 9 days until next post, and I will post again within those 9 days, but I just couldn't pass up on abi's recent "abigailisms".

Abigailism #1

Abi has been nothing short of a brat this week. She is driving her parents insane and billy is now bald (kidding there...but close). Me thinks the child will be trouble in the teen years...and perhaps may end up with poppa dean until she is 18....or 30 at the rate she is going!!!

Anyhoo, last night I had asked her to put on her PJ's and blow her nose. It's allergy season you see, and the girl's nose runs like Niagara falls. WELL, you would have thought I had asked her to go clean her room or something! The cry, the scream, the yelling, the kicking...and of course this red-head remained absolutely calm through it all.....

ya, right.

So, I hollered, she hollered a lot louder, I hollered even louder and sent her to her room...actually pretty close to dragging her since she wasn't going on her own. I told her when she had gotten rid of the attitude and was ready to cooperate with mommy, she could come out.

Well, she kicked the door a few times, punch a wall or two, screamed bloody murder...then came out with PJ's on and a "I'm sorry mommy".

We made up. I told her I loved her, she told me she loved me...and was about to give mommy a great big kiss when the following took place:

mommy: "abi, please go blow your nose"

abi: "I don't want to blow my nose"

mommy: "abigail, we are not about to go through this all over again, go blow your nose"

abi: "but mommy, your job is done now, you're fired"

Ohhhh, if only that could be the case...

Abigailism #2

Go back a week. Billy has sore feet and finally succumbs to the idea of needing to soak his feet. So, he goes to have a bath. Abi, being the loving child she is to her father, tells her dad that she wants to take care of him and will wash his back and hair for him (for those of you who have seen Billy, washing his hair doesn't necessarily mean on his head). So, being to tired to argue, daddy wore shorts for his bath while abi sat and washed his back and hair.

Fast forward to today. Neighbours across the road had dirt delivered to their house this morning. Abi excitedly watched as the "mighty machine" dumped "a whole heck of a lot of mud" on the lawn. Now its time to leave for daycare and work. We get in the car, it's hot out and abi wants all the windows down...and well, so did mommy...it's fricking hot today! Well, the neighbour is outside shoveling his dirt to his garden...without a shirt on when the following takes place (remember, the windows are down, and my child has a VERY VERY loud voice):

Abi: "peeeeuuuuuuuuuuu, that man stinks with hims shirt off"

Mommy: Well, I don't say anything here, I pretty much just speed away with a face the color of my car (red).

Ohhhh, but this abigailism doesn't end here, nooooo, it gets WAY better.

As I peel away from the street the following conversation continues:

abi: "mommy, does daddy take his shirt off outside?"

mommy: "no abi he doesn't, daddy doesn't like that. He will take his shirt off when he is inside or in our backyard, but he doesn't really do that in public"

abi: "yah, he walks around the house naked"

mommy: "no he does not abi, he is always wearing shorts"

abi: "mommy, why does daddy wear underpants in the bath?"

mommy: thinking, oh boy, here we go. "well abi, boys have different, um, body parts than girls, and well, it's not really appropriate for little girls to see their daddy's...err any boys...body parts"

abi: "mommy, when I am a big gril can I see it?"

mommy: "no. that's even more of a no than with little girls"

abi: "mommy, when I was at my new daycare..."

mommy: "mommy's work?"

abi: "yup. I was in the bathroom and this boy came in...do you remember hims name? anyway, he came in and showed me his bum. I tried not to look, but I couldn't stop"

mommy: "his bum, or pee pee"

abi: "you know, that thing that sticks out and then flops down..."

I laughed all the way into work.

She is no dummy.

To those I love, peace.

D:)