A true friend walks in when the world walks out.
Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we talk.
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
It is easy to be flexible when one is spineless.
It is hard to stumble when you're on your knees.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
On the road of life, there are windshields and there are bugsplats.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Who gossips to you will gossip of you.
I don't question YOUR existence. – God
A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac - one who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog...
And on the 8th day God said: "Ok Murphy, you take over."
Religion is for those who fear hell, Spirituality is for those who have been there...
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
Everytime I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.
I have no axe to grind, but I have an ivory letter opener that could use some sharpening.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.
The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has determined that the maximum safe load capacity on my butt is two persons at a time, unless I install handrails or safety straps. Since you have arrived sixth in line to RIDE MY ASS today, please take a number and WAIT YOUR TURN!
The only problem with mornings is that they happen too early in the day.
Usually I try to take it one day at a time, but lately several have attacked me at once...
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Laugh and the world laughs with you... Cry, and the world looks sheepish and suddenly remembers it had other plans.
Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean.
Life is a test, and I didn't take very good notes.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
The trouble with learning from experience is that the test comes first and the lesson afterwards.
The trouble with life is, you're half way through it before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.
The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. - Albert Camus
Friends are like four leaf clovers, hard to find, lucky to have.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar. I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
My love, forgive me for who I was, what I did, and what I cannot change. Love me now for who I can be, and what I plan to accomplish. If you can't, then just love me because my heart loves you, unconditionally.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
If someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head.
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