Moose's Learning Curve....

I've known for a long time that my Moose has had a speech delay. I tried talking to her doctor about it at each appointment, but didn't push the concerns I had. Finally at her 3 year appointment, I asked him to refer her to speech therapy, that I was very concerned.

Yesterday was her "screening" appointment. This is where they determine whether or not the parents are just whacked out nut jobs who are overly concerned about everything.

Turns out, i'm not one of them (in this case anyway).

Unfortunately, now we wait...as with ALL things healthcare related these days. I was informed that she likely won't get into speech therapy until at least January. Emma will be 3.5 years old then, 1.5 years away from the start of Kindergarten. The therapist did however, provide us with two activities to do with her constantly in the meantime. One of them combines a bit of sign language (I want...). Emma is to do this every-time she wants something. Eventually, she will just straight out sign and ask without prompting. The second activity is the "what is it" game. Emma constantly speaks in babble, so, the "what is it" game eliminates the babble, and goes straight to the object. You need A LOT of patience for this game...something this red headed mother does NOT have.

I was told at this appointment that Emma communicates at an 18 month level. This scared me. However, she picked up on a lot of the stuff shown fairly quickly, and I was told that therapy will be wonderful for her and she will succeed in it.

I was also informed that Emma doesn't understand the words, which is why she isn't communicating. She just repeats what is being said to her, but she doesn't know what it is.

After her appointment, I was full of mixed emotions. I first started the self blame thing...I knew there was a problem, I knew it was a big one, why didn't i push it sooner? I felt like a horrible mother, because now my child suffers even more than if I had pushed it at her 1 year appointment, rather than her 3rd. I cried the entire way out to the cottage. Then, I moved on to the sensible emotions...I'm doing something now, that's what matters. I just wish I had the confidence in myself as a mother to trust my gut more and go with it.

So, for now we practice the two "games", and I start looking for more resources to help my Moose communicate better. Thankfully, the daycare Emma is at, has already informed me that they will do EVERYTHING they can to help us with her therapy, including hiring a part-time aide to work one-on-one with Emma. Plus, there is Abi's school, WMES, where Emma will be going when she is school-age...They have the resources to come along side and help Emma.

The therapist told me that it will be a long road, that Emma has a very long way to go, but that once she gets into therapy, she will 100% absorb it and do well. Unfortunately, she will likely still be in therapy while going to school.

On a funny positive side, the therapist couldn't get over how "social" moose was, how despite her communication problems, she wasn't the least bit affected by it, and seems to not even know she isn't communicating. In her brain, she is communicating, we are the ones with the problem ;) She couldn't get over how Emma made everything fun, and wasn't the least bit shy or scared. Usually kids with this sort of disorder are very introverted and shy away from any sort of interaction with strangers...not my moose!

So now I have a child with ADHD, and a child with a speech delay/communication disorder...what's next for this gene pool? Only time will tell...

Thankfully the good Lord gave me a sense of humor!

Peace,

D

Abigailism

My conversations with Abi this morning have been quite entertaining. I often wonder what goes on in that brain of hers, and today she let me in for a little bit. Here are some goodies:

Abi: "I'm pretty sure Emma is going to get a divorce one day"
Me: "Why would you say that, that's not very nice"
Abi: "well, she's not exactly sweet and gentle now is she".

Abi: "how old is Lucy in Dog years?"
Me: "well, she was born June 26, 2006, so that makes her 5 human years old. Each dog year is 7 human years. What is 5 times 7?"
Abi: "Ummmmm....can I not answer that? could you just do that for me?"
Me: rolling eyes "fine, it's (showing her how to figure it out) 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 30, THIRTY FIVE! Lucy is 2 years older than me in dog years"
Abi: "LUUUCY you are OOLLLLD, you should have been married by now. Go find yourself a husband already!!"
Me: "she's not THAT old Abi. 35 is not old. it's still young"
Abi: "no it not's mom".

Is Time Flying You By?

This blog post is kind of full of randomness. That's what happens when you have three kids...your brain turns to mush and your head is full of random thoughts, most of which are never completed!

75 days left. That's it. In 75 days I will be returning to work, never to be on a mat leave again. For REAL this time!! Honest. I swear. I Hope? If not, then the next baby will be one heck of a miracle baby...and some doctor will get a stern talking too about his surgical success rates!

I so enjoy being home with my babies, and I know I will miss this time. I also know that life moves forward and I will adjust. In the meantime, I am spending every second, of every one of those 75 days, taking advantage of being home with the kids. I love that I have this opportunity. I thank God everyday for the blessings He has given to me, even the ones that didn't seem to be much of a blessing at first.

Life is crazy busy, and yes, I am in denial right now and not wanting to face the craziness of life for when I go back to work. But, I will take it in stride and deal with it in laughter...because any other way will only make it worse:)

My kids are nuts, they didn't fall too far from the tree I guess. They are what makes me love life so much. Every day is new and fresh. Every day is unexpected, unpredictable. Yes, we have our horrible, rotten, want to give them away days too! But, I can't imagine what life would be like without them!  Okay, so there are some moments, in some days that I do, but then I get a hug; a smile; an i love you; or even some random makes-no-sense sentence of a 2 year old, and I remember how great my kids are.

Abi is my 8 year old, going on 16 with MAJOR attitude, rock-star; Emma is my Moose wanna be princess; and Dean is my smiley faced poop machine (seriously, at least 5 poops in a day!). I worry about the "teen" years with Abi, and I really hope she is working out her attitude issues now, so that I don't have to deal with it later on (a girl can dream). That's not to say I don't worry about Emma and her teen years. I actually dread that more...I have a feeling it's gonna be trouble...I have a feeling she is going to experience life A LOT. That scares me. So, I pray that God protects them and gives me the patience and resources needed to survive it. I know I shouldn't worry about it. That I should, instead, be enjoying life in the moment now, and leave the future in the future, especially since I have NO control over what will be. But, what mother doesn't worry about their kids and their future?

Peace,

D

Thank you 2010, Hello 2011.

2011. Wow. It always amazes me how fast the years go by. As a kid, they couldn't go by fast enough; as an adult, I wish they would SLOW DOWN! I always say that I wish life came with a rewind button. I would love to go back in time for a visit here and there. Don't get me wrong here. I look forward to the future, and I hope I always do...but I miss the past sometimes too.


Lately I've been thinking a lot about the future. I try not too, no point in worrying about something you have absolutely no control over; but when I look at my kids, I can't help but start to think about how fast time is flying and about what they will grow into as adults.


The past year was an amazing one for me. It started off pretty scary, and had me so unsure of our future. I found out I was pregnant in December 2009, and was terrified. It wasn't planned. I spent the next five months trying to come to terms with it, well, in and out of denial as well. So many of my close family and friends kept telling me what an amazing blessing this baby was going to be, and I remember thinking, "ya, right"...then July 10 arrived and I held my special little man, and I cried. The blessings filled me that instant. I didn't think it possible to love each of your kids in their own special way as much as I do. They are certainly my everything, and I honestly cannot imagine my life without them. They are so individually unique and bring joy to me in their very own special ways... separately. It's truly amazing.


As a result of baby Dean, changes happened. One being the loss of my car and the introduction to the "mini van"...I still shudder. But, I have to admit, it's a handy thing. I still hate it. BUT, it is easy to pull the kids in and out of...but I still hate it. I've also become a bit more relaxed in life. You can't help it. With three kids, you need it to survive!! Life happens, deal with it. So, I do. I'm sure God has lots to do with that too...I can't imagine my life without my faith either!! It's so much easier to believe in God, then not too I think. I can send my worries up to Him in prayer, and forget it. It's awesome to do that. God will work it out, I might not like the way He chooses, but, in the end I know it will be for the best...He hasn't failed me yet...and I've spent many times in my life where I was pretty sure He was going too!


Our year adjusting to Abi's ADHD diagnoses has been pretty good. We've had ups and downs and lots of turn-abouts, but she has an amazing doctor and incredible school! She is now beyond her grade level in reading, which is a HUGE success for her, and she LOVES to read. The girl has more books than any kid I've ever met. To her, a great day is spent in Chapters! Although, Claires is starting to become a favorite of hers (Lord help me!). She is still struggling with eating. I can't believe I have a child whom I have to BRIBE TO EAT!!! How is she mine??? Well, when she prefers to have a piece of chocolate at 5am, then a piece of toast, I know she's mine :) She is still around the 45 lbs pound mark...and currently not on the growth chart. Her doctor keeps an amazing eye on her though, so we aren't worried. She is healthy. 


Abi is an AMAZING big sister. Every single day she makes me so proud. She takes such good care of her siblings...and never complains! Okay, sometimes she complains, but only when Emma is trashing one of her toys, so it's usually a valid complaint. She loves her brother and is such a huge help to me. Just this morning, she crawled into his crib at 5:30 in the morning to feed him a bottle so I could sleep! What 8 year old does that?! I know I sure wouldn't have. She is so special, in so many ways. 


Emma is a devil. Cute. Funny. BUT BAD!! Oh man! I used to think that Abi hit the terrible two's and never left them...then Emma hit the terrible two's...and I now know Abi did leave them...so, there is hope for Emma :) I joke that she will be the one who will come home one day by police escort! She is super funny though, so it's hard sometimes to get after her. She has such a devilish look and laugh to her. She's not afraid of anything. She is going to test us as parents, this I know. I don't mean any of this in a bad way either. Even though she is bad, she is so full of love, and I can see it. Her heart is huge, and she loves to love. She looks SO MUCH like her cousin Kayleen, and her personality fits Kayleen's too. Kayleen is pretty awesome, and I hope Emma does turn out like her...especially the amazing sense of humor! We are currently potty training her. It's going pretty good. I forgot how much I dislike potty training...but it's gonna be life for the next few years, so I might as well just let it flow :) Our carpets are crap anyway!


Dean is adorable. He's a baby. He's my boy. I have a BOY!! He is so different from the girls (other than the obvious) and yet, he reminds me so much of Abi as a baby. I thought I didn't remember Abi as a baby, then Dean arrived. I can remember experiencing Emma as a baby, and not remembering a thing about Abi. I felt horrible that I couldn't remember a lot of my time with her. So, Dean is a blessing in bringing back my memories of my time spent with his oldest sister as a baby! He's not as dramatic (thank goodness), but he complains like she would - in a cute, adorable baby way. It's not so cute when they are 8. We are starting him on foods now, and it's an interesting dynamic. Abi liked food when she was baby, just didn't eat much of it. Emma LOVED (and still does) her food, and ate lots of it. Both girls started rice cereal early. Dean, hates rice cereal - spits it out and shudders. He's picky. He likes the sweet potatoes, and peas...hates pears, not a fan of turkey, and custard grosses him out. He'll eat yogurt - the fattier the better - but doesn't like eating it with a spoon. See, picky.


Billy and I have had a good year together as a couple. I got to fall in love with Billy all over again when Dean was born. Not saying I ever fell OUT of love with him, but seeing him take care of me and the kids, and seeing him with a newborn again, something changed. I don't know what. But my heart grew even bigger for him. He's an amazing father and husband.


Okay, resolution time. How'd I do with my 2010 ones? Well, here we go:


#1 - Deepen my relationship with God. Set aside time each day for prayer and devotional. I pray everyday, all the time, but I don't have a designated time to just be alone with God...I could really use that.
I started a "read the bible in a year chronologically" program in May and have kept up with it. Because of this, I am growing spiritually, but it sure is making me question a lot of things. I've also joined two small groups and I love both of them very, very much.  Each night, in bed - as it's the only time I really have that allows me total peace and quiet, is when I read my bible and pray. It's been a blessing to do this.


#2 - Lose the remaining 26 pounds. 
HA HA HA...well, I lost it thanks to morning sickness, then put it back it on, then lost some of it...I currently have 5 pounds to lose to get me back to my pre-Emma body. 


#3 - Be more patient (or, well, patient period) with my children.
Having number 3 has certainly helped in this area. I can always work on this, but I think I've improved some.


#4 - Be more trusting of God.
I wrote this knowing I was pregnant. I didn't trust Him. Thought He was crazy and hated me to be honest. BUT, as time went on, I learned to lean on him. As a result, I am more trusting - and I know this is a life long thing. Each path in life will bring new challenges and new ways to learn to trust. But in the context of why I wrote this one down, I'd say I succeeded.


#5 - Learn the meaning of SAVE $$.
I had a great year for saving!! We saved enough money to replace our fence! I am now working on saving money for a new deck...hoping to have enough saved by the Summer of 2012.


#6 - Laugh once a day.
This one has been pretty easy. Moose makes me laugh every day. My kids make my heart smile and laugh all the time.


So, what about 2011...well, I think pretty much the same as 2010. 

• continue building my relationship and trust with God.
• build my marriage into a relationship with God.
• work on being more healthy - continue my Hot Yoga, maintain my weight (or lose some), become a better example to my kids - choose smart, instead of chocolate for breakfast :)
• work on my patience...especially with Abi. 
• continue saving $ for that dream deck.
• laugh often, love more.

There we go. Resolutions made. To all of my family and friends, and well, to everyone really, have an amazing 2011 - no matter what. Make the best of what God has given you. May you find contentment. May you be filled with Love, Laughter, Joy and Peace...and of course amazing memories to last a lifetime. 

Peace,

D

"It's better to enjoy what we have than to always want something else, because that makes no more sense than chasing the wind. Everything that happens was decided long ago. We humans know what we are like, and we can't argue with God, because he is too strong for us." Ecclesiastes 6:9-10

My Moose!

She makes me smile from the inside out, and makes me laugh from my toes up...but man, she's TROUBLE!


So far this week, Moose has destroyed the house with her toys thrown all over the main floor; used a cooler as her personal step stool to get into all sorts of trouble...like getting on top of the kitchen counter to get into the cookie container and help herself to a handful; got herself trapped in the laundry basket; used our furniture as her very own jungle gym and trampoline; destroyed my dried roses leaving crumbled up rose petals all over the carpet; ripped off the "g", "a", "e" and "tab" keys off the keyboard (i'm still trying to re-attach the "a"); opened up some sort of computer writing program thingy in facebook; dressed lucy up in hair pretties on her ears and tail; used the swiffer clean & shine spray bottle to make herself "pitty" (she smells like vanilla and lavender)...all in her hair, on her face and arms); and emptied out the dvd's from the cases and hid them...still looking for a couple of those right now.


I spend my day chasing her and saying "Emma Yvonne, STOP that right now!"...then i get tired, plop myself down in the chair and just laugh...


Life is crazy, but what can u do?


to those i love, peace,

D